8:17 AM
Dear Lord, hear the cry of my heart.
I was listening to this song on the way to school today. Dave and Nicole wrote it!
Broken and abandoned
Abused and neglected
Wounded and rejected
That's how I come to you
Seeking some affection
Looking for peace in my condition
Seeking your direction
That's how I come to you
And you say come
All the weary come
All the burdened come
And so I come to you
Come, all the lonely ones
Turn around and run
Into these arms of love
Far away from heaven
Feeling the pain of my decisions
Running from religion
That's how I come to you
Finally you found me
Offered me strength for the journey
Greatful for your mercy
That's how I come to you
Come, all the weary come
All the burdened come
And so I come to you
With open hands
And an open heart
You call to us
To all of us from near and far
And you say come
All the weary come
All the burdened come
And so I come to you
2:09
I want to be a prayer warrior:
To be poetic in my words
To say what I need and to give thanks
To drop down to my knees in any moment
Not to be afraid what others might think
To comfort others when they are wounded.
How do I get there?
8:47 AM
Imagine my surprise when, after all my trouble to find a site that I can access at school, I open my PowerBook and type www.weebly.com and I get a message telling me that Weebly doesn't support Safari.... sad day.
8:45
This morning, I spent a good 30 minutes typnig my second blog. Yay! Then, I was about to click publish... Internet Explorer freaked out and shut down... Darn Windows computers!
11:45 AM
I had a feeling I wasn’t going to make it to sing on Sunday morning. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were all late nights for me and Sundaynight, I was going to a concert. If I didn’t sleep in one day, I knew I was not going to be able to wake up early enough to get to school on Monday. So, I woke up around 930 feeling wounded and rejected. So, I packed up my things and brought my suitcase down to the car.
It was really nice outside and Psalm 118 came to my mind – “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad.” So, I decided whatever it was that got me in this funk wasn’t worth keeping me there and I should just get over it… esp. since I couldn’t even figure out why. So, I decided that I needed to go to church… whatever was wrong with me, that’d help. So, I went to the 1110. Got there maybe 10 minutes early and Nicole came and sat by me. "What's your story girlfriend?" I just started crying. She sat and consoled me…
Then, as you guys were singing, esp. That's How I Come to You, I felt so emotional… I sat and tried to figure out what was going on… it felt good to just let go in His presence. So, as I sat, I decided that I was so upset because maybe I’m going through the quarterlife crisis stage of life - Is this what I’m meant to do? Who I’m meant to be? I want to God’s work and be a faithful servant and in my current job, I feel like I can’t do that. That was depressing.
After the choir was done singing, Janella came to give me a hug. She told me that she was there if I needed her. She wore a brown polka dotted shirt. Unless, you're Janella, Nicole, or I, I suppose that doesn't make any sense but it made me smile big time. (I emailed her Monday - what a blessing that became! God works amazingly through us!)
As Robert’s sermon went on, I began to feel better about what I do. It’s not so much what I do but where I do it. Being so far away from home is so stressful at times. Leaving my house and making it to choir rehearsal in less than 20 minutes would be a welcomed change. I want to spend time serving God instead of spending time in my car worshiping Him alone.
After church, I hung out with my folks for a while and then went to Guitar Center with my mom and got a new guitar!! That helped me feel a little better J She asked me if I was sure that I wanted to make such a large purchase and I told her that all I want to do is sit in a park and sing out to God.
Thanks for listening… that was a lot to say… now that it’s all over, I feel kind of silly for being so dramatic. But, I also feel better knowing that I let go and God let God work in my heart.
Today? ...
I will be still and know that He is near. I will rejoice and be glad… God made today… if He is for me, who can be against me?
"It's just one of those days... but, last I checked, this day, this very one, is one that the Lord has made, and I will - in spite of myself - rejoice and be glad in it."
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